install theme
fluerx:

SWIM GOOD

sassyabrahamlincoln:

do you ever get your period and just think about your recent behavior like wow that explains a lot

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails

theboyvvithoutasoul:

theboyvvithoutasoul:

theboyvvithoutasoul:

where do aliens hang out

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this post is back again and im glad bc i get to watch people get confused about v b n m again

(Source: halfbreedghoul)

plasticbagvevo:

"Free Wi-Fi!"

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"Please ask a staff member for details."

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(Source: problemactic)

moonndreams:

This person from tinder Started snapchatting me and he bought up sex and I told him I thought sex was scary and he asked me why and I took a photo with my baby sister saying ‘bc now I have a baby’ and he didn’t reply for 20 minutes until I told him she was my sister and now I think I turned him off sex with strangers

spoopyphilia:

bloodyoathmate:

My mum’s friends at work are having a baby and their last name is watts so they were trying work out a name for it, i suggested 60 and they both looked confused so i said maybe 20 would suit them better 

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elricbrother:

My sexual orientation is straight

to the computer when I wake up

fake-mermaid:

jraphic:

fake-mermaid:

im in ma moms car
broom broom

get out me car

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sassykardashian:

sailingonsuccess:

sassykardashian:

Science side of tumblr how do I become a jellyfish

Jellyfish have no brains. You’re already pretty close.

Okay WOW

trashboat:

"but you could die" yea but i could also LIVE so shut up it will be cool regardless now stop being a fuckign nerd and fill my tires with hydrogen as i drive this flaming dune buggy filled with fireworks across 80 miles of hot coals

arielvevo:

I THOUGHT I HAD A FAVOURITE INFOMERCIAL GIF

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BUT I THINK I HAVE FOUND A NEW FAVOURITE

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(Source: turnipsalad)

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